


You could talk about it, you know?

by DoomsdayFairy



Series: fictober19 [3]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 07:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21132938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomsdayFairy/pseuds/DoomsdayFairy
Summary: Shortly after the dragon war, while everyone is partying to celebrate their victory, Mutsuki gets caught staring.





	You could talk about it, you know?

**Author's Note:**

> fictober prompt 20: "you could talk about it, you know?"

“You could talk about it, you know?” 

The sudden appearance of the voice behind him caused Tooru to jump and quickly spin around to face its owner.

“Huh? What- what are you talking about?” 

Better to feign ignorance than admit that he’d been caught staring. 

“Him.” Urie nodded his head towards the other end of the room where sensei- no, where  _ Kaneki  _ stood talking to his wife and some other guy that Tooru vaguely recognized but couldn’t quite place (probably a ghoul). 

“What about him?” Tooru asked, facing back towards the happy trio “I lost, that’s it, there’s nothing to talk about,” 

Urie sighed

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” 

Urie stood silent for a moment. Tooru slowly brought up the glass he was holding to his lips and took a long sip, the sweet taste of wine greeting his taste buds and calming his nerves somewhat. 

Part of him was hoping that the stretching silence between them would be enough, that Urie would go away and leave him alone with his thoughts and the way to cheery pop-music blaring from the speakers above again. When that didn’t happen however, another part of him was thankful. 

“You know,” he began “I really meant what I said back then. I wanted to die. I was hoping that you and Saiko would kill me,” Urie said nothing, so Tooru continued “I was so tired, of everything, I still am. Ever since sensei left,” Across the room, he could see Kaneki let out a laugh at something his wife seemed to have said. Tooru could feel his heart sinking at the sight “...oh how they all must hate me now,” Tooru closed his eyes, trying to will away the tears that were starting to build in his eyes. “Well, I guess I kind of deserve it,” Damn it, he was crying now. How embarrassing. 

Urie continued to stay silent, and for a moment Tooru thought the he might have actually left, until he felt a gloved hand brush against his cheek, gently wiping his tears away. When he opened his eyes again Urie was in front of him, completely obscuring the trio across the room from his view. 

“Listen” he said calmly “I don’t… I mean... I think that…  _ Damn it _ ” Despite the heaviness in his heart Tooru couldn’t help but to let but a small laugh at how Urie was stumbling over his own words. Urie seemed to be collecting his thoughts for a moment, before he took a deep breath and tried again “I am happy that you are still alive,” 

Tooru thought about that for a moment. He was horrible, he was a  _ monster _ , he knew that. He’d lied his way out of the only family he’d ever had, he was responsible for the deaths of his birth family, and the oggai, and Torso, and countless other ghouls and humans who’d never done anything wrong other than simply existing. He couldn’t be forgiven, he  _ shouldn’t  _ be forgiven. Shouldn’t have been invited to this party. Should have stayed home, stayed  _ away,  _ and yet…

Despite all that, here he was. And here was Urie. 

Urie who comforted him.

Urie whose grey eyes stood out and shone like diamonds in the rooms dim lighting. 

Urie who had once been such an important part of Tooru’s makeshift family.

Urie who was  _ happy  _ that Tooru was there. 

Urie, who was suddenly all Tooru could look at.  _ _

“oh,” was all he seemed to be able to say. Once more silence stretched between them, both feeling as if though they should probably say something more but never quite finding neither the words nor the courage. 

Eventually the music in the room shifted into something a lot calmer, people began to occupy themselves on the dance floor swaying back and forth slowly all while clinging tight to their partners. 

_ Seriously? A slow dance? _

Tooru quickly glanced back from the dancing couples over to Urie. A sudden shiver ran through his body as he suddenly felt like he was once again a little schoolgirl and Urie was the popular athlete he shouldn’t be talking to. Or asking for a dance. 

Was he wrong? To want to dance with him? Would it mean anything? Would he like what it could possibly mean? Would that make him happy? 

Should he ask?

A quick and deep gulp of alcohol seemed to make up his mind for him.

“Well, this has been kind of gloomy, want to dance?” Urie’s eyes widened in surprise. He didn’t say anything, again, and for a second Tooru thought that he may have made a mistake, before he silently reached out his hand to grab a hold of Tooru’s sending a clear message.

_ (Yes)  _

Tooru smiled and squeezed the hand a little tighter, putting down his glass on the table beside him in order to lead his partner onto the dance floor. There, he carefully put his hands on Urie’s hips as the other man placed his on top of Tooru’s shoulders. Then, they too started to slowly and calmly sway back and forth in time with the music. 

Somewhere to the side of them Tooru was vaguely aware of Kaneki and his wife doing the same, but right then, he honestly couldn’t really be bothered to care. 

Maybe Urie was right in the end. Maybe Tooru  _ would  _ eventually have to talk about things, when what little words had slipped out tonight would no longer be enough to properly explain things. Maybe he would have to face the Kaneki family at some point to offer them that explanation. But right now Urie’s breath was warm against his face and their bodies were moving rhythmically together, so close that he could smell the metallic smell of paint mixed in with the smell of Urie’s after shave cream, and all of it created such a blissful sensation that Tooru didn’t want to ever snap out of. 

This, right here, felt like home. 

With Urie, he was home. 


End file.
